Addendum

I've gathered from some of the reactions to my last post that it came across a bit stark, and, after the immediate emotional drive behind that post has faded, I realized I should probably clarify a few things.

First, the feelings I described, while real, are not feelings that I feel all of the time--only on occasion. I hope none of you think that I feel that discouraged on a daily basis--I don't. Most of the time (when I'm sane and well-rested--or at least somewhat well rested) I recognize that I have been very blessed with healthy children and a supportive husband. I also recognize that women, in particular, experience their lives in stages--and that not all the stages in my life will be so fully consumed by childcare.

Second, I find writing particularly cathartic--if I'm in the grips of a powerful emotional response to something, or even in a particularly overwhelming mood, I find that writing out my response helps me both understand what I'm feeling and to diffuse the feeling. By the time I had finished writing that last post, I felt considerably more positive about myself and my life--I'm sorry if that didn't translate well and if anyone was unnecessarily worried about me!

Last, I have to confess to writing under the influence of sleep deprivation. For the last four or five nights Evelyn has been making our nights a terror by refusing to sleep well--she has been up anywhere from 1.5-2.5 hours at a time in the middle of the night (her favorite time seems to be from 10:30 to 12:30), and then waking up again around 4 or 5. Needless to say, now that school is back in session and Dan has to be up to campus fairly early, her sleeping schedule has wrecked havoc with mine. And as those of you who know me well already know, I do not function well without sleep. We're trying to figure out what to do with her. Any suggestions from the trenches?