I know hope is supposed to be a positive thing, a profound power that propels us forward in life and faith. And certainly, without hope, life would be a lot less worthwhile. Dieter F. Uchtdorf talks about the "infinite" power of hope. Barack Obama describes its audacity. And Emily Dickinson describes it as a thing with feathers, perching in her soul.
But sometimes hope is painful. Like right now--this small little knot of hope feels less like a canary, singing on the top of the world, and more like a vulture, waiting for the last flickers of life to die out before circling in to feed.
Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier not to hope. Like, for instance, when you sit, waiting, for the announcement of an award for a competition you've entered, knowing that the odds are against you, but still unable to still that sad, halting limp of hope.
Or when you have one of those hopeless adolescent (or not-so-adolescent) crushes on a boy (or girl, depending) who barely notices you, and, against all reason, you hope.
Or finding a house you like, and then finding that someone else has put in a bid before you . . . the odds aren't good, but, since there's still a chance (no matter how infinitesimal), you can't seem to help yourself.
At times like these, I can only conclude: Hope sucks. I'd much rather be resigned and invulnerable.
5 comments:
I've spent enough of my life in the invulnerable to tell you that such a thing does not exist. And hope is light, positive, wonderful imaginings of possibilities worth believing in. But most of the time we weigh our hopes down heavily with fear, realism, and dismiss thst hope turns out even when it wasn't what you hoped for. . . ?
We are crossing our fingers nonetheless!
Yet hope is the one thing that will always get to take that next step no matter how bleak the prospects. The smallest sliver of hope gets us to do some extraordinary things. I don't know if it is hope that sucks or the unknown. Possibility is better than nothing.
Due to many bad (growing) experiences in my life I have learned there are some things to use your hope on and some to be very realistic about.
Having bought 3 houses in 3 states in 27 months I and looking at hundreds more, I have come to realize that while you want to waste hope on a house, it is much better to be realistic about it, and hope instead for the right house with a great ward and great neighbors. These are far more important.
Roslyn, you are so poetic! Hope is the stuff that makes life happen! Would you really try anything if you didn't? Good luck, and even if this house doesn't work out, I'm sure you'll find one that is amazing!
I agree with Dan that it's not hope that sucks, but the unknown, the waiting game. Hope is still worth having, because life would be much more bleak without it. And, the hope of finding a better house, perhaps in a better ward, with a better kitchen or a better yard, is what will get those feet moving again to find something else.
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