Mother's Day

Because today is Mother's Day, I wanted to start with some fitting tribute to mothers. But beyond generating this idea, I started to run into a few snags. See, I wanted to find something appropriately literatary, both so that it wouldn't offend anyone's sensibilities (have you ever noticed how much mother's day poetry is incredibly sentimental?) and so that I could get credit for being appropriately literary and erudite myself. Unfortunately, after looking through my assorted poetry collections and doing an online search, I found nothing that truly seemed expressive of my sentiments, although the Academy of American Poets does have some nice poems about mothers. (And, despite the fact that one of our sacrament meeting speakers introduced his talk on motherhood by referring to Tennyson's Charge of the Light Brigade, I don't find that a particularly apt poem either! The speaker went on to explain that the kind of courage [stupidity?] exhibited by that fated 600 was a kind of courage that can only be inspired by mothers--a statement I take issue with, but that's besides the point!)

I find that I have mixed feelings about mother's day: I think that the mothers most closely involved in my life (my mother, my mother-in-law, my sisters and sisters-in-law) certainly deserve all the thanks and encomiums that they can get. But I also find that mothers vary so widely--and in fact, not all great women are themselves mothers, and some women who are mothers may find themselves conflicted about their role (a woman in our Sunday School class broke down in tears today because, of her three children, her son is dead and she has not seen either of her daughters for at least a year). And I think that we could do a better job (both in the church and in the wider American culture) of being more sensitive to the wonderful array of women there are in the world. I also find myself obscurely troubled by the cultural ideal we hold up of mothers--a mother is kind, saintly, never says a cross word, selflessly nurtures her children and everyone else around her (at the expense of her sanity?), is educated, keeps a perfectly neat home, etc., etc. Personally, I don't know anyone that perfectly fits the characteristics of mothers held up every year at mother's day--but I also have more respect for the mothers I know who are imperfect, who grapple with their weaknesses but still find the strength and courage to reach out to others, and to lavish love on their children and families. I also think that "mothering"--i.e. that nurturing love that we seem to value so much in mothers--is not the exclusive property of biological motherhood. I know men who possess it in great quantities (like Dan!), and I also know women (either unmarried or without children) who have been incredibly supportive of those around them. I think one of our good friends here in State College, Celie Hanscom, has been a wonderful surrogate mother for lots of college students (I know she has been for us!). And I wish that we could acknowledge that better and more often. During our Sunday School class today, the teacher closed his lesson by suggesting that the virtues that Christ demonstrated in his life are all virtues that can make us better mothers--and while I think that is true, I also think that the emphasis needs to be not simply on becoming better mothers but on becoming better people--a spiritual movement that is available to everyone. I guess what I really want to say is simply how grateful I am for the wide variety of people who have blessed my life and my family's life--our mothers in particular, but also fathers, sisters, brothers, and friends.

And that's probably enough of my personal soapbox for one day! I imagine that most of our readers are more interested in Andrew's exploits than the inner workings of my mind, anyway. :) So, without further adieu, our week in review.

Neither of us can remember Monday. (That either means that it was fairly uneventful, or something so traumatic happened that we have since blocked it out of our minds). Nothing much happened on Tuesday either; I went to the writing center in the morning, Dan went to work, and in the evening we fed Andrew, bathed him, and put him to bed. The only noteworthy thing was that Dan did not have to go to Huntingdon, because activity night had been switched to Thursday so that the youth could attend the Huntingdon Area High School's production of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (three of the youth from the branch were in the musical).

Wednesday was a little more adventurous. I took Andrew to the day in the park again (the weather this week has been pretty much uniformly gorgeous) and he enjoyed himself thoroughly. He was particularly interested in trying to insert himself into a tug-of-war over a stuffed soccer ball that was underway between two two-year-olds, apparently oblivious to the fact that he was shorter, slower, and smaller than either of his opponents. At any rate, he gamely ran after the other two, and was positively thrilled when either of them dropped the ball and he could scoop it up triumphantly. It was actually pretty funny to watch--one of the other moms commented that she was surprised by how well Andrew managed to keep up!

Also on Wednesday, Dan finally got the new part for his microscope which means that his experiments can resume (although he was somewhat hampered by the moving crew that Andy brought in to pack up stuff for the move to Sweden). And, in a momentous and rather agonizing decision, I finally decided to get rid of my old analog cell phone and upgrade to a fancy new one. This decision only took me 45 minutes on the phone talking to various service personell before someone finally told me that it was easier, and often you could get a better deal, by going through their website (!). Then, of course, I had to figure out what Andrew had done with my cell phone before I could update anything (as the company text-messaged my temporary password to my cell phone). I found it, of course, on the floor of my closet, under some shoes and clothes. Andrew is adept at putting things in unexpected places. We frequently find jars of food on the floor of our bedroom, or in the bathroom. Wednesday was also my last day in the writing center for the next week and a half, as the semester is officially done. I'm thoroughly enjoying my break (especially as my last two appointments were both fairly difficult ones--students who are smart enough in their own fields, but whose grasp of English is still pretty rudimentary).

Thursday morning Andrew and I ran some errands and went to the library (always a favorite destination in our family!) where Andrew played a delighted game of hide-and-seek with a three-year-old Russian (at least, I think that's what language his mother was using) boy around the little puppet theater the library has set up in the children's section. That evening, as previously mentioned, Dan went to his musical. I think he may reluctantly be becoming an Andrew Lloyd Webber convert! (When I read this sentence back to him, he gave me a rather strange look). He does say, however, that snare drums in a musical are just "so timely," and also that he could have done a better Elvis (as Pharaoh).

Friday morning, of course, I went yard-saling (I have no idea if that's even a formal word, but I end up using it a lot) and spent a whopping $2.50 on some pajamas for Andrew and a book. Friday evening, Dan and I emerged from the social abyss that has been our life pretty much since Andrew was born and cleaned up the house and invited a few friends over for chicken katsu and strawberry shortcake (the latter was courtesy of one of my friends). I trounced everyone at The Great Dalmuti, and so a good time was had by all. (Well, at least by me, which is all that really signifies. Dan still likes to remind him that I once threw my hand of cards at him after he beat me in Hand and Foot; all I can say is that I was pregnant at the time.)

Saturday was by far the most exciting day of the week. While Dan went into lab, I took Andrew with me to a couple of yard sales. At the first one I found something I've been seeking for some time--a sturdy little table and chairs for Andrew. While I was debating over this particular table (one of the downsides of yard-sales it that you don't really have much time to compare prices--you either take what you want or risk it not being there when you come back), Andrew discovered a Little Tykes kitchen set that the owners were also selling. He spent the entire time at that particular yard sale opening and closing the cupboard and moving the plastic tin cans around. In the end, I bought both the table and the kitchen cupboard (another woman bought the stove and the refrigerator that were part of the kitchen set--this was just as well, as I a) couldn't afford the whole set and b) we have no where to put all that stuff!). Andrew has probably enjoyed the table and cupboard as well as any toy we've gotten for him--he's spent most of the last two days playing with it. He likes to sit at the table and bang on it; and he likes to take the cans out of the cupboard, but them on the table, put them all back in the cupboard, and then move them all to some other location (like the front room). We also think that the novelty of these toys may have been partially responsible for his 5 a.m. wakeup this morning--something like the Christmas morning phenomenon. Andrew woke up, and, instead of whining a little and going back to sleep (which he usually does), he saw his new set and spent the next half hour going, "oh oh oh" like he does when he's excited about something. (Meanwhile, we tried to cover our ears and pretend like we hadn't heard him).

Saturday also marked the start of what for me is one of the year's biggest highlights: the AAUW (American Association of University Women) annual booksale. It's a pretty unbelievable phenomenon--one of the biggest of its kind on the East Coast, if the website is to be believed. People start lining up in the early hours of the morning on the day the sale starts, and then hordes of book-lovers start pouring in. The AAUW collects enough books from the community to fill the agriculatural arena--dozens of tables filled to capacity with books of all kinds (with boxes more of books beneath the tables, from which volunteers fill gaps on the tables themselves). Of course, to anyone who likes books as much as I do, this is rather addictive. Especially as the books are priced to sell. I went twice yesterday (once with Dan and Andrew, once alone), and will probably go back again tomorrow (all the books are half-price--which means most paper backs are $.25-.50). I think I only picked up a couple dozen books.

Andrew has been a joy in the last week or so--he's finally starting to learn new words; recognizeable ones from this week include "tru" (for truck), "down," and lots of animal noises (he can roar, sort of, like a lion; when I ask him to say "woof" for a dog, he does this funny little puffing noise, like he's trying to blow on his food; and he says "tee" for "tweet"). He's also entering into the packing and unpacking phase. On Friday, after we came back from the grocery store, he actually managed to put a couple of cans into the right cupboard for me! (Of course, he promptly took them out again and put them back in the bag.)





As Garrison Keillor says to close his daily "Writer's Almanac": "Be well, do good work, and keep in touch."